Financial Espionage
One of the biggest challenges I see when I help people budget and manage their household finances is relational espionage and financial infidelity. In the video, we had a bit of a laugh about it however, if it is happening in your relationship it is certainly no laughing matter!
Let me explain – Financial Espionage is when you set up the budget and your partner sabotages your efforts to get the finances under control. There could be a couple of reasons for this behaviour.
Maybe the plan to change the finances was made by one partner and the other partner feels as if they have no control over the situation, because they have been “put on a budget”, either they disagree and a “discussion” follows, Or they go into covert Financial Espionage and they say (usually under their breath!) ‘Oh yeah – sure we are’ and then they use relational espionage to ruin the budget.
Sometimes the partner doing the Financial Espionage is feeling neglected and is “paying them back for the neglect”. There may be others but these are the main ones I have seen.
Financial Infidelity is where you buy things for instance a dress (I use this one because I see it often), put it in the wardrobe, take the tags off and six months later you wear it out. Your partner says ‘oh is that a new dress?’ and you say ‘oh no, I’ve had it for ages’, It is the truth because you have had it for ages. But we know deep down it’s a lie.
Both sexes do it, it just seems that it’s the women who admit to it!
If you want to change your financial situation then these sabotaging behaviours need to be overcome. If you have a problem communicating with your partner then maybe some professional help is in order.
Whatever you do it is important to forgive and work together on a solution.
